#...you already deserve a good life regardless of what war you are fighting. and that's hard to swallow...
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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There's this pull in recovery to feel behind in comparison to your peer group, and that's, of course, a valid feeling. It's understandable, but I think a lot of what we don't remember is that... they often aren't starting out in the same place you are.
I think part of the reason so many feel terrible about "being behind" is that it feels like we have to blame ourselves for being behind. If you just weren't affected by it, you'd be right where your peers are, right? It's a way to blame yourself in severe cases.
Recovery isn't about "catching up," I think. It's about pressing the play button and letting yourself live. You might never "catch up," you might never be at the "same level," but that fundamentally doesn't change that your life is worth living how you want it to.
#mental health#recovery#i always conceptualize it in a metaphor of planets...#...because it feels like my own has stopped completely and everything in it has withered away...#...i don't think people think 'time has stopped but the world is moving on without me' as profound until you experience it...#...because i'll look at other people and what their metaphorical planets look like and i just... find it heartbreaking if i let it...#...and i think the comparison in recovery can easily be a way for you to weaponize your own suffering against yourself...#...because it DOES feel good and it feels productive to be the punished and the punisher...#...and that shields you away from recognizing that it's almost literally the opposite of freeing or productive#to me it's akin to the viewpoint that suffering is divine and is a Test Of Mettle#that if you only suffer until the day you die you will Be Rewarded...#...but i find that there is no glory in a war waged against yourself...#...that the battlefield is coated only in your blood is not a testament to you Deserving a Good Life...#...you already deserve a good life regardless of what war you are fighting. and that's hard to swallow...#...because then it feels like your suffering to prove yourself was POINTLESS...#...and you have to swallow the fact that you suffered and you didn't 'have' to#i just want people to start to internalize these ideas or even just think about it in context of themselves#i don't *want* you to suffer for your recovery (though this is a pretty impossible task regardless ime)
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emmaofnormandy · 6 months ago
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~A Medieval Tale: The Rogue & His Lady. Part II~
Plot: Y/N is a damsel who captures the heart of a rogue, misunderstood prince named Aegon Targaryen in 14th century England… with no civil war to disarray the family.
It’s fluffy, very mediæval like; smut; long post.
(+21)
***
Even sun sets in paradise.
Clouds rumble in the skies, a sign of storm, a bad omen to all those who fear the ire of the divine. Many were the peaceful years of King Viserys’s reign. Some would incline to judge this monarch as fool, others, wise, good even.
Whatever epithet this king deserves, it goes to wind, blown away by the first evidences that peace is yet to be supplanted by something worse. What might that be… is yet to be found out.
With the sun eclipsed, new events are setting stage. Aegon and you are forced to be apart by these circumstances and you fear to remain a shadow in his memory, praying to the divine that he does not forsake you .
On his part, this redeemed prince has renewed his vows to you. But he’d come to find that easier is said than done for his attentions are required elsewhere. Demons are coming out to reclaim his soul and he’s the target of evil again.
Indeed, to be surrounded by such creatures requires an inner strength that a fragile faith cannot knock down. Here, Aegon finds difficult to shake ‘em off.
Oh why Lord hast thou forsaken me?
Masking his pain, his porcelain skin turns to ivory. Sweet Prince is now a king… who faces the opposition of partisans who threaten to replace him with Rhaenyra.
Where there is smoke, there is flame. And someone might get burnt.
You, despite yourself, feel inclined to let be consumed by these unnatural flames.
Already pained by how politics are preventing one to find the other, you swallow your pride and discreetly search for him.
Aegon is found in secretive talks to Lord Daeron, his brother and councilor, who thinks best to marry off his sister in order to prevent political troubles that could arise in her state— and none seems to suspect, though, that the Lady Rhaenyra is holding the reigns of her life by taking her own uncle, Lord Daemon Targaryen, as her husband.
How bold, the scandalized court would whisper.
Part of shadows, you are invisible to the eyes of men—and to those of the women, too. For who are you if not part of a nobility that few are familiar with? Your family possessions may give them some credit, but no name, no blood, nothing… could commend you to His Grace.
The tentacles of the Devil hereby try to persuade you of your insignificance, thus trying to work against the designs of the Cupid by pushing you away from him, the one your heart desires.
To the most pious, though, this is read as an announcement of a heavenly battle for two lost souls. Which one is going to be the victor?
One could only pray to fight away such impertinent demons…
But a soul when linked to the other is prompted to recognize its other significant half… regardless the crowd that tries to part them.
Which means to say that His Grace’s lilac eyes find the y/c eyes of yours. So lost. Plagued by this intermittent chaos.
In silence, screaming for the lover stolen.
“Lady Y/N!”
The stunned group of councillors, and here his relatives are included, follow the cause of the king’s disrupted distress.
To many, the evident surprise in their faces when seeing it is you the very reason why Aegon II is more concerned to a damsel than politics may lead to that old superstition, understood as a sort of common sense, which places the blame of wrongs in women… simply because they are not obeying the natural orders.
Regardless, spotlight is on. The Cupid dances, the Devil threatens. Fate is about to play deadly its cards.
“I could not reach out for you. I pray you forgive me for being…”
Even if staying at the center of this stage is something you do not wish for, it is too late to storm out. Your destiny escapes your hands, it’s been woven by the divine. This is all you know.
“Do not apologize, lord. There is nothing to be forgiven for”, you smile, but Aegon sees sadness in your irises. “What can we do before duty? Should be me the one to ask you forgiveness for my meekness, my spirit so prompted to be passional…”
“I see nothing in you to be faulted for. Reason cannot conceive it. Lady Y/N, I aim to reclaim not your body, even if it arises the desires of my flesh, but your soul, so only I before it can be whole.” He cups your face with his hands, in complete ignorance of his mother’s baffled countenance. “Even so, unworthy of thee as I am, take me not as king, but as a man.”
“Poet of mine heart”, you sigh, to the delight of the Goddess of Love who claps before this chaotic profession of most profound sentiments. “I could not refuse you, whether as a beggar, whether as a king. Likewise, my heart is yours to be commanded… despite my most inappropriate station.”
Aegon smiles and it is as if sun shines the brightest. To a general astonishment, the king loves. And such a love is above mortal, fable laws; above lust, inferior desires that have made no other victims than himself.
“I care naught about the laws of men, for I stand before them. My wife you will be, lady of this court, mistress of the realm”, says he in a tone that leaves no argument to it.
Devil is finally fought off. Victory is placed in the hands of Cupid. Heaven smiles below… even if skies remain grey still.
***
Nothing evokes a greater scandal than unexpected unions. Disregarding reason and every sensible advise, the king intends to make his word law of the realm.
All of this is suffice to say that making you his queen attracted great disapproval of the court. Something unseen since the days of Maegor the cruel.
But Aegon may be many things. Cruel he is not. And you are unlike any of his consorts.
Despite the gleefulness of finally being tied to Aegon, you know that working for peace is part of your queenship.
Therefore, days before the wedding you come after the dowager queen, lady Alicent Hightower. You hope to be as convincing as possible in arranging domestic peace, for you do this overall for the man you love—never forgetting, however, how uncommon this union is, out of the Targaryen inbred and hierarchically mismatched.
The redhaired lady, once praised for her piety and discreetion, who once possessed a crown over her head, welcomed you with distrust in her eyes—even if you see how queenly she is in manners. That is to reinforce the regal obligations one has… out of habit, perhaps, when dealing with others she is less… inclined to like.
“Madame the Queen”, you address her accordingly. “I thank you for welcoming your humble servant.”
Your speech definitely surprises the dowager queen. The lady Alicent has judged you as some sort of gold digger, who craved your nails in her son and whose manners were most undignified of Aegon—even if he is not, as she knows well, the great moral of her house.
However, when studying you, your modesty and meek speech, she realizes she’s been wrong. Not many could surprise Alicent Hightower, but you, Y/N Y/LN did.
“Please rise, child”, she softens towards you. “I am not a queen… not anymore.”
“One never ceases to be a queen, even if the crown is legated to another. You are the force behind this house, my lady. I would do harm to all of us if I only followed my heart.”
Wise move. Oh, this lady possesses a sharp wit. Certainly not like any of the mistresses Aegon had conquered to warm his bed.
And yet… hasn’t Lady Alicent been remembered of that heroine whom she admired, Isolde being the character’s name?
Though the dowager queen envied you for being who she aimed to be since the days of her girlhood, she is not unreasonable where you are concerned.
“I appreciate you come after me for that. I admit all of this caught me out of surprise, for little I expected seeing my son so besotted.”
You try smiling, charmingly if you dare.
“Indeed it has baffled me as well that the king considered me in high esteem. Unworthy as I am, I, however, feel likewise.”
“But you surely must be aware of his flaws”, the dowager queen could not help herself. You remind her of sweet Helaena, who, however, even in her sweetness had a driven force that led her elope with Aemond, her brother.
“I am, my queen. I do not love for the king he is, but for the man he is becoming. I too have my flaws.” The final card is yet to come… “Before the divine, we are inferior beings, all longing for redemption.”
The Queen smiles. You’ve succeeded in captivating her.
“This is very true. Sometimes… when we least expect, we come to learn that love sent from above is yet to redeem us all.”
From this day on, you and the dowager queen become close, perhaps occupying the vacant position left by the princess Helaena.
***
It is the ceremony day. Here you and Aegon are, lawfully married. A banquet is held on your honor, as well as tournaments are drawing high and low born men alike who spots in the jousts an opportunity to write their names in history.
Most want to be the lady Y/N’s champion, but you’ve already granted your favour to Lord Daeron, the king’s youngest brother, who used to be your childhood playmate.
As wine is poured in your silver glass, you and your lord husband speak as if there is just the two of you in a gold and green salon.
“I espoused you”, says he with his typical smug.
“Indeed”, you side smirk. “But I pray you are reminded daily that I was not any conquest of yours.”
“No”, he agrees, looking deep into your eyes as he takes your hand to his lips in a lingering kiss. “You are the redemption of a lost sinner, my lady.”
But this sweet, intimate moment is interrupted by Aemond’s boast.
“It appears”, he announces in his own way, “this is the moment we have all been waiting for. The bedding ceremony.”
You look away, crimson pink painting your cheeks all the whilst Aegon raises his eyebrows at his brother—though he’d indulge in lies if he didn’t admit he’d been looking to it. Perhaps too much for a man who until recently was slaved by his flesh.
*
A path of flowers follows your steps as the gentlewomen remove every piece of your green gown. Your carefully embroidered hair is now loose in your back and every jewel that embellished your skin is carefully removed.
Never before you felt so nude, so exposed. Specially under the cries and giggles of the ladies, some of which behave in what you judge to be somewhat in the old ways.
“Be merry, my dear. Today is the day your queenly duties begin”, someone tells you.
You smirk at them, but pay little attention to their sayings, detesting this exhibition. Until your mind suddenly goes blank before the view of perfection that stands right under your eyes.
Aegon Targaryen hasn’t seen you yet. Perhaps to drink away his nervousness, he downs his glass of wine. His hair is somewhat a mess, falling short down to his neck; but your eyes scan his muscles, perfectly shaped after years of sword training.
The lines of his body that reinforce his shape awake something different in you. And when he turns at you….
Your face goes instantly red.
“My queen”, and it doesn’t help you that he scans you with the eyes of a predator.
And you like it how he smirks and moves all the way to welcome you properly.
“You look beautiful like always”, his whisper is like a summer breeze, warming and cozy; his arms are like a fortress, strong and safe. “Do not shy away from me, my dear.”
He is right behind you, his arms snaking around your waist, thus involving you in between. His chin is resting over your shoulder, his lilac eyes staring at your heart-shaped face as he uses one hand to play with your hair all the whilst the other is resting over your belly.
“You are gifted with a beautiful out of this world. As a sinner, I should not dare to look at you, but because of my weakness, I have my feebleness exposed.”
“Oh Aegon, you are no man, nor king, nor something in between. You are above all, and as your subject I boldly commend myself to you.”
Speeches are silent from the moment his lips meet your skin and your mouth drops in an “o” right as you give in under his touch. His slender fingers caressing your belly, squeezing gently your waist before cupping your breasts make you experiment—truthfully this time—this dragon fire.
And you want to get burnt so desperately.
“Aegon…”, you moan softly, dropping your head at shoulders.
Sinful has never been so tempting. Where there is a flame someone is about to get burnt, and you place yourself willingly in this position, notwithstanding the morals of the Church against lust and the dangerous of having pleasure in marital bed—everything must be balanced.
You certainly do not feel condemned by any means when he’s kissing your neck and cupping your breasts; nor guilty when his tongue paces slowly towards your neck.
Aegon too revives his old self, though he is now controlling his lust, not the other way around. As when he lowers his right hand and through forest he finds waterfall in you, diving in you and together finding pleasure in sin.
“Oh yes”, he groans in your ear, pleased to please you. “Give yourself to me, my dear”.
When your gazes meet, you know it’s your end. You are doomed.
And Aegon, has truthfully been tamed.
***
As when sun and moon meet, so it occurs a significant event the moment your body meets his. When he holds your thighs and pushes within you, when he looks at you with a mix of love and lust… you know it’s nothing regular.
It’s supernatural.
Divine.
Like when Mars met Venus and in her he planted his seeds, so the king plants his in you.
When does profanity begin? When does sacred end? A line so fragile between extremes is yet to be traced.
But one gaze, one kiss… one bliss is enough to bring altogether what has ever been apart.
Victory thus falls upon the hands of the Cupid, and Heavens will too bless this unique match. No one could have foretold the plans of the divine… as no one could have fought them either.
***
• Epilogue.
The king sits on his throne, eyes glued on his dancing queen. A smile dances over his lips, some might say Lady Y/N is a witch.
A love for a crown?
A crown for love?
When all eyes are set on their offspring, doubts are quietened. A pair of twins is seen dancing with their mother, whilst another, the elder and heir, is found by his father’s side.
All is well that ends up well… with you.
Aegon smiles. Against all wishes, the peace he provides. And he rises, uncontestedly victorious.
Their family is yet to grow further, with Lady Y/N, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, mothering at least ten more children. Their lives will last… until spring comes and summer passes.
During the autumn of life, when marriages thrive, you outlive your husband only to see Jaehaerys II with Jaehaera by his side.
Thus it is how this Targaryen line survives…
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yellowspiralbound · 1 year ago
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Since season 3 of The Witcher Netflix comes out tomorrow...here are some of my concerns on adaptation from this season onward. Potential spoilers for the future seasons and definite spoilers for the books. Long post ahead.
The Hansa's Dynamic
I am so worried about how the Hansa is going to be handled in the show. Like shaking in my boots terrified. The showrunners already really messed up Dandelion & Geralt's dynamic...and that's one of the easier dynamics present in the Hansa imo. The dynamic is already going to be screwy because Cahir is a middle aged man and not a petulant teenager if he's present in the Hansa at all (though I think he will be since Emhyr called him and Fringilla out at the end of s2).
Emhyr as a Character
Speaking of Emhyr...I think they might attempt to give him a redemption arc, and I cannot emphasize how bad of an idea that is. They're going to retcon the whole "wanting to impregnate Ciri" bit, which I have mixed feelings on. Like yes, on one hand that's fucking gross but on the other hand, that bit is in there to show how fucked up Emhyr is and why Geralt needs to get to Ciri so quickly; it adds a sense of urgency to the Hansa's travels. If I see Emhyr sympathizers on my dash after this season I will lose my fucking mind.
Milva's Pregnancy & Related Scenes
I suspect that Milva's pregnancy is going to be cut entirely or play up the rest of the Hansa's concern for her as a weird "men think they can control women's bodies" thing which Milva will have to fight with them about so the show can be appropriately pro-choice without exploring any of the pro-choice nuance the books bring up. I can just see Regis talking to the guys about it being turned into a "the father deserves a say in a woman's choice to abort" scenario instead of the "I will give this woman her abortion regardless of what you all think about that (and I've made that VERY clear) but I think she's making this choice because she believes you all will abandon her/not support her if she wants to keep this baby and someone needs to make sure that she knows that won't happen" scenario that it actually is. This is also plays into my concerns about the Hansa's dynamic as changing that scene changes it irreparably.
Characterizing Nilfgaard as a Nation
Right now I feel like the show could go one of two ways 1) Nilfgaard is wrong in everything it does or 2) Nilfgaard is right in everything it does (if Emhyr gets a redemption arc). The show has already made a show of the Northern Realms' racism, which is book accurate mind you, but I fear this will translate to a sort of "Nilfgaard is the better nation as its less racist" scenario. While Nilfgaard is better in that aspect and a few others, it is still a militant slave nation. Nilfgaard and the Northern Realms both have their evils and their virtues; that's a big point in the books and the games. Neither nation is 100% good or 100% bad - they're just nations. I don't think the show will be able to handle that kind of nuance.
Jaskier & Radovid...
Apparently, Radovid is supposed to be one of Jask's love interests this season. Radovid is a massive racist, a war criminal, and a teenager. I'm sure all of that's going to be retconned but for fuck's sake just make a new character if you're going to age up and completely change the personality and insanity of an existing one. Important note: I am 1000% in support of queer Jask. I have never shipped that man with a woman in my life (even in the books and games) but for the love of God why did his LI have to be fucking RADOVID??
Mistle & the Rats
If they make Ciri and Mistle a love story, I am going to be disappointed but not surprised. Let me be clear: Mistle is a rapist and an abuser. I suspect they will change that to shoehorn in a queer relationship (even though Triss and Philippa are RIGHT THERE if they want a semi-canon wlw couple). The Rats as a whole are definitely going to be made into more robinhood-like characters because God forbid a main character like Ciri is morally grey or does questionable/bad things.
Geralt's Disability
If this season ends with the Vilgefortz and Geralt fight, as I suspect it might, Geralt will be disabled permanently by the end of this season. The dryads do not fix it. Magic does not fix it. Geralt becomes disabled and stays disabled. His disability becomes a hindrance during the books and the reader actively sees him grapple with the fallout of this. I do not trust this show to handle that - especially with how much more closed off Geralt is in the show compared to the books. If I had to guess, Geralt's disability will be handwaved away or mentioned in passing and never actually shown to impact him which is not cool.
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araneitela · 7 months ago
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So, on the topic of female muses. Right, I’ve changed my mind, I want to separate these two topics as this one is really on the forefront of my mind. Man, not once have I ever thought that I'd write a post in which I would genuinely ever use 'as a woman' as part of enforcing my argument, but here I am: May 2nd of 2024 marks the day.
So, here's the band-aid that I'm ripping off: if you follow me for the sole purpose of showing support because I write a female character: don't. As a woman, I actively don't want that mindset anywhere remotely near me. I don't want that kind of support from you, I don't want that kind of pity from anyone, I don't want the 'sisterhood' to rally around me, I don't want 'our girls can be besties' on the simple and mere premise that they're both women. Get out of here, I don't want anything to do with it. If you follow me, I want it to be because I've piqued your curiosity with my analyses, and that I've earned your interest (yes, just like you earn everything in life, including someone's attention and respect), and that I've made you want to approach and interact with me because the character that I write appeals to you on the premise of being a good presentation of a character, regardless of whether she's a woman or not. Do not think for even a moment, that you are under any obligation of interacting with me because I write a female character, because you're not. And honestly, on top of that, I don't deserve any sort of special recognition for writing a woman, I don't face any kind of daily struggles in life for writing a woman on Tumblr.com; I do not and have never felt 'lesser' or 'prejudiced against' for writing a woman throughout all of my years of writing them off and on across so many different fandoms, both canonical and original alike.
I genuinely hate reading so many posts that tell me to 'hang in there', and to 'stay strong, girlfriend' as if I'm fighting some war: I'm not. I don't want to be associated with this kind of mindset and/or behavior, I rebel against it and would shout it from the highest rooftops if my lungs permitted me to do so. I do not write a woman because I want to 'represent women', I do not write a woman because I'm 'fighting against discrimination', I do not write a woman to get respect from other women, I do not write a woman because I love women more than anything else in this world, I do not write a woman to help carry any sort of torch for my sex, and I certainly don't write a woman to say 'fuck you' to men. Honestly, and I say this as a woman: it would be pretty devastating to know that you, a (most likely) fellow woman on this platform, would reduce a female writer to wanting to write a female character for those reasons, and nothing else. My rage then, would be aimed in one direction, and one direction alone. And quite honestly, it's already there; my respect is more than halfway out the door.
I write the female characters that I do, because they're amazing characters that happen to be women, and I've written amazing characters that happened to be men. And guess what, many of those amazing female characters that so many of us love so desperately? Have been written by men, just like women, too, have written incredible male characters. I wish that were a reality that many of you could look at and realize, instead of pointing fingers at 'cishet men', as if they are the huge majority within this RPC.
Any way, I'm getting a little off-topic so let me get back to my point, because I sure as hell want to be sure that it's read, understood and that it's taken at face value: every single follower is appreciated more than they realize. However, be here because you appreciate what I do because I do it well, that I've earned your attention and am deserving of it, and not because I'm a woman or because I write one, because that would be one hell of a disappointment (and quite frankly: an insult) to come to terms with.
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acourtofthought · 1 year ago
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Don’t feed people delusions Elain is not fit to rule any court, both of Feyre’s sisters have done absolutely nothing to deserve that title be real 😂 she can be a lady beside someone who is ruler though!
Hello! I'm a little torn with the way I want to respond to this anon but I'm going to stick with facts rather than giving in to the feisty side of me that's begging to take center stage.
In the TOG series, SJM took a 19 year old girl who had been running from her birthright for over half her life and turned her Queen by the end of the series. A 19 year old who was an assassin and about as far away from court politics as you could get.
And made a hundreds of year old Fae warrior who worked for someone in a position of "power" her "consort."
In the Crescent City series, SJM has taken a party girl who had done nothing of real importance in her life prior to the start of the books and is turning her into the savior of all, a true descendent of the Starborn Fae. I don't know exactly what will happen by the end of the series but Bryce is already more "special" than she probably deserved for what she had been doing.
Tamlin never wanted to be High Lord:
I never expected—never wanted—my father’s title. My brothers would have never let me live to adolescence if they had suspected that I did. So the moment I was old enough, I joined my father’s war-band and trained so that I might someday serve my father, or whichever of my brothers inherited his title.” He flexed his hands, as if imagining the claws beneath. “I’d realized from an early age that fighting and killing were about the only things I was good at.”
He actively turned his back on learning how to be a ruler yet low and behold he was made High Lord (only for the time being I think). He's obviously not fit to be a ruler considering he gives f*ck all concern for his people right now.
In the ACOTAR series we have a 19 year old human queen who is queen simply because SJM decreed it so yet we have no proof of what she'd done to earn that title.
Elain has been noted as observant from book 1 and raised in a household where her mother raised Nesta on political aspirations. She didn't need to focus on Elain for those lessons for Elain to absorb the information and observe her mother and Nesta's behavior. She grew up surrounded by the political games too. She has been noted to enjoy taking care of people, something which started in book 1. In book 2 we're reminded she can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles. She's noted to enjoy making friends, talking to people. In ACOFAS Feyre is left amazed at the wisdom Elain spoke and her observations over what something meant to the people of Velaris. In SF Cassian is impressed with how much Elain saw and observed. Elain has actively gone out to help the people of Velaris and she found a way to get humans to safety during the war. There are hints of her being loving and kind, a gentle soul who grows beautiful things (but as Rhys said, can get her hands dirty if necessary) and we know Spring in general has fallen into disrepair and it's people need hope and faith and someone to believe in. They also currently believe Lucien complicit in the lies Feyre told. Elain, who can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles could be someone they follow and believe her when she restores his good name.
Can Elain lead an army or command generals? Probably not but could Elain help restore a people's faith and become their figure head? Why not if SJM wills it as so. And if Lucien were by her side, he could easily help her navigate. They would be a team just as Rowaelin were however Elain could still be given the title of power.
I'm not quite sure what it is about theories that confuses you. Maybe you'd prefer I use an ACOTAR hypothesis tag? We don't have one of those so unfortunately that's not the way to have a post seen but regardless, I'm not claiming anything as fact. My theory is simply my guess as to what might happen and will only be proven wrong or right when we get the next books. So I'm allowed to "feed" people delusions theories all I like. They can agree, disagree, keep it on the back burner just in case but what no one should be doing is coming into anyone's blog and telling them they're not allowed to come up with their own ideas of what could happen.
I'm not smarter than anyone in this fandom. I don't have SJM insider info. But by now, I'd like to think most followers understand that I'm not pulling my theories out of my ass with nothing to back them up and I also have read enough books by SJM to know that the females are the ones who are meant to shine. I am taking things that are actually in the book to build these ideas so you claiming I'm delusional when the text supports it as a real possibility is quite confusing to me. Could I be wrong? Definitely. But there's enough that if I turned out to be right, we have thinks to look back on and say, "ohhh! Those were possible hints!"
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girl4music · 1 year ago
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The main theme or message I took away from it was that vengeance is a vicious cycle. Vengeance makes you do things you otherwise wouldn’t because of all the anger and hatred you harbour inside. But it’s like no matter how justified you believe you are in your need for revenge, somebody who doesn’t deserve it will always get caught in the crossfire. Maybe they’re in your way, maybe you’re just desperate to see the end. But somebody that shouldn’t always pays for your bloodlust. Somebody that only gets involved in the chaos of all of that because they care about you.
And I like that the game was trying to teach this message rather than just have the audience side with Ellie or Abby in being against each other while they’re the only main protagonists that you play as in the entire game. It’s different and was something worth learning. That vengeance is a never-ending goal. And in the end they were just causing each other even more pain by striving for that goal. You know how they say that in a war no one wins because both sides have already lost? It’s like that. The best thing to do is to stop fighting. To let go. But it’s easier said than done.
I knew there would be serious repercussions for what Joel did in his effort to save Ellie’s life. And I’m not saying he should have just allowed them to murder her for the cause of protecting what was left of the human race. But at the same time, killing everybody in that hospital made him no better than them. I don’t know what the right decision would have been were I were in his shoes but I don’t think it was that. You can love somebody so much that you would kill for them but it doesn’t make it right. And there will be severe consequences for it. The game isn’t saying Joel and Ellie deserved what they got. It’s just saying it’s what happens because violence breeds violence. And it’s a lesson worth teaching as hard as it is to swallow when you’re so attached to these characters that you’ve spent so much time with and enjoyed the dynamic between them. Enjoyed becoming invested in them.
I get it. But at the same time the situation is very complicated and controversial and therefore what happens is what happens. The human condition is filled with contradictions but if you can see it from the other side, you have the perspective and the opportunity to stop rather than perpetuate the same cycle. That’s all it’s saying. No platitudes about what’s right and wrong or good and evil. That’s not the point.
Just… that you have the power to stop the cycle. And it’s entirely up to you what you do with that power.
It’s a great story. But I understand why people don’t like it. They don’t like how it forces them to see a perspective that they don’t want to. They don’t like having to face that their own emotional attachments aren’t the be all end all. And that while Joel and Ellie never deserved what they got - they got it due to the actions and choices that they made regardless because they wouldn’t give up on each other and believed that the ends would justify the means. But there is no end to revenge because it’s a vicious cycle. So the means are too. That’s just the hard truth of it.
I mean what can you say, huh?
Ellie’s not right.
Abby’s not right.
It’s all not right. But it is what it is.
I don’t feel sorry for either Ellie or Abby. I feel sorry for everybody that loved them and everybody that died because of their choices. I know it’s so, so hard to let go of vengeance when you’ve been wronged to the point of losing someone that you love and hold dear. But is it worth it if you don’t? That’s the lesson in this.
You can both have your revenge out all you want. But the world is bigger than your own personal vendetta.
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elizamint · 2 years ago
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It feels like almost no social space online is safe for my brain right now. Everywhere feels so toxic, depressing, demoralizing, and just awful to be on overall. I can’t deal with the constant bad news and doom. I can feel it dragging me down back into the depths of depression and self-hatred that I fought so fucking hard to tear away from late last year. I finally realized last night how insidiously that negative voice had been creeping it’s way back into my head. It’s been making me crumble bit by bit, without even realizing it.
Falling off creatively again because it told me I’m not good enough to bother, avoiding mentioning my transition because it made me feel like I was off-putting and weird, isolating myself from my friends because it made me feel like I was a bad person and didn’t deserve them. I feel like I have been collapsing back into that decrepit shell of [deadname] because it was starting to convince me that I don’t deserve to be Elizabeth. Because I wasn’t trying hard enough, fighting hard enough to win back control of my life.
But I AM trying! I’m trying so fucking hard to become “me” and not just a collection of mental illness symptom. And you know what? I’m succeeding, I’m making progress, I’m fucking WINNING! Self-hatred can kiss my fucking ass, because my will to live and fight is stronger than it now! I may not be moving at the breakneck pace that I want to, but I am becoming more and more who I’m meant to be regardless every. passing. day! Don’t get me wrong I’ve stumbled, and faltered, and lost battles and will continue to do so I’m sure, but I WILL win this fucking war!
I’m going to start taking better care of my mental health and stop the digital self-harm that is doom-scrolling. It’s not good for me, I don’t get anything out of it, all it does is let those negative thought sneak their way back into my head. I’ve already taken a great deal of steps to get away from it, locking down and leaving my Twitter officially, unfortunately leaving a number of trans subreddits because they have been doing more harm than good for me lately, and just trying to focus more on my hobbies and interests in my free time.
That’s all I got, brain-dump over. I’m Liz and being a queer girl fuckin’ rules! Byeee!
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artsofmetamoor · 3 months ago
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Oh gosh girl what a deep and fascinating analysis of our boy!!!❤️❤️
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Caleb is one of those characters who gets overlooked in an already niche fandom yet in my eyes he was always so full of wasted potential! He's perfect as the tragic hero in a dark/high fantasy story! Just his basic backstory from the comics! Created as a mindless slave, yet somehow gaining sentience, escaping to fight for his freedom and his right to simply exist, and ultimately leading a revolution against the very master who made him. The implications of this! His struggles with identity, the pressure of leadership, and the countless challenges he’d face! It's all insanely good material for a proper story!!
And as such we adopted him 😆 to fully develop him from scratch and to try to give him the depth and complex story he deserves! Honestly, at this point, I consider our version of him practically an original character! We made sure to keep him recognizable, but he has also strayed from his canon version in a few of ways. I know some people might wonder why we didn’t just create a totally original concept and story, but 1) this is simply what we love to do, and 2) I’d argue that we’ve already crafted something original by filling in the gaps and connecting the dots with our own ideas! This isn’t meant to diminish the original in any way, it's just our own world inspired by it ❤️
To parallel Caleb and the legendary Diomedes is quite an intriguing thought, but both were indeed forged in the fires of conflict weren't they? And as mentioned above the idea of Caleb as a Whisperer, a creation of Phobos intended to be a soulless servant, opens up so many possibilities to explore themes of identity, free will, and rebellion!
And with this comes the question: What does it mean for a being created for servitude to seek its own path? This becomes Caleb's whole life's search! From a lost child found with no real parents, to a boy raised in war and finally a man plagued with many traumas that eventually finds his healing... As his story progresses I think it's both tragic and touching how he finds meaning for everything that he is!
It's too much fun to incorporate things from the series, like Julian as his adopted father in this version, mixed with our ideas of the life cycle of whisperers!
It was also fun to try diving into Caleb’s strategic mind and you definitively pointed this very well here! The way Julian saw that potential and raised him not just as a son (after so tragically losing his biological one) but as a future leader, adds so much to his character, especially considering the weight of those expectations from such a young age. Even in the original canon Caleb’s ability to unite such diverse groups and cross social and racial boundaries is so powerful, making the rebellion a true movement for all of Metamoor!
It’s undeniably one of the most tragic aspects of Caleb’s story that he never had a proper childhood, forced instead to face the harsh realities of war... And yet it’s so touching to think about how he gets to raise his own son in a time of peace, giving him the happy, carefree childhood he never had! It shows his and other rebels' sacrifices were for the next generation! But regardless him and Diego really were children of war and tragedy indeed, and it shaped them in profound ways... Thank you so much for the wink to the title and my drawing of the lads!! ❤️❤️❤️
I cannot hide how the Tribal Galhots are one of my favorite aspects of out story!!! It's not like I draw them all the time!! 😆 The way Caleb identifies with them and bonds and learns with Dilla in a place that’s meant to become his home is everything! It’s like this turning point that shapes every big decision he makes moving forward!
Dilla leaving, even if just temporarily, is such a heartbreaking twist in the story. It really allows us to explore how Caleb’s well-intentioned choices can sometimes lead him down the wrong path, and how guilt can distort his understanding of his true needs and wants. While the complicated dynamic between Caleb and Cornelia has its own intricate reasons, Caleb’s guilt undeniably plays a significant role in his choice.
Oh gosh there’s no betrayal that could cut deeper for Caleb than Diego’s. Being imprisoned for years by someone he loved and considered family is an incredibly visceral and painful concept. It’s such a raw and challenging theme to dive into right at the beginning of the story we’re crafting! Especially since Diego is a very complicated character himself! All of this leaves lasting marks which hurt deeply even while Caleb heals...
And here’s another hard moment to dive into! 😢 Caleb hitting his absolute lowest, even worse than his imprisonment... His body might be free, but his mind is still haunted by all the horrors and traumas. Dilla’s return and their reconnection mean so much here especially when Caleb feels like the world has just moved on without him!
Aww, I’m so in love with this!! ❤️ And it happened without planning! It’s funny how a lot of stories, even in canon, have Caleb and the ex-rebels ending up in roles like joining the Queen’s army or something similar. While that might work for some, Caleb’s ultimate dream in our story is different: he wants his peace, his family and his home! After years of war and commanding men to battle he just wishes to raise his son, wake up snuggled in his wife's arms with kisses, take care of their beloved home, and to relish the most simple pleasures! And no one would believe that the fearless rebel leader ends up as a happy house husband, but here he is!! 😆❤️ Tho yes another struggle will come with the arrival of Corny and it definitely is not what one might expect!
Oh gosh I really love how this character has turned out and I can't get tired of drawing him among others! That's so true, Caleb’s journey, including his quest for personal growth and his ultimate self-redemption, really points out that that being a hero isn’t just about saving the day. It’s also about seeking help when needed and striving to not only be better, but to inspire others to be better as well. I love how you finished this analyses with this note, Caleb’s story is indeed in many ways a reminder that there’s more than one way to be heroic. He's not perfect, he's quite flawed and thus very human, giving in to feelings of pain, guilt, rage and even giving in to his boldness and arrogance at times, but he doesn't get crushed. Sometimes the hardest achievement is saving yourself while still being there for others.
Really amazing perspective on him girl! this is awesome!!! ❤️✨❤️✨❤️ ✨
An Analysis of a Hero (based on the projects I am working with @artsofmetamoor )
So speaking on Diomedes with several friends so far gave me immense inspiration (which is also why I include the name to the tags). And so, I took the courage of speaking of another technically war-raised child. Caleb. Caleb is one of the deuteragonists to the comic series W.I.T.C.H released in early 2000s and later on property of Disney, and protagonist on the series of the same name that is a Disney property and aired by Jetix in the early 2000s.
W.I.T.C.H is a high fantasy teen story that has the acronym of the 5 protagonists Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia and Hay Lin who posess the powers of the 5 elements of nature (Aether, Water, Fire, Earth and Air) respectfully who have as mission to protect a veil that is separating earth from the opressed kingdom/planet of Meridian (also known as Metamoor) while combating the forces of Prince Phobos who snatched the throne from his sister, the rightful heir and rules the kingdom as a tyrant. Caleb, the character in question is the young man who has taken the role of the leader of a rebellion against the prince and who served many years for the best interest of his people.
Born in War
Just like our beloved Diomedes, Caleb seems to have been raised at war. His origins differ depending on media; the TV series has him as the son of the previous Rebel Leader and a witch but the comic origins seem to be much deeper than that. In the comic series Caleb is a Whisperer. A Whisperer is a magical creature in the form of a plant that is supposed to serve the will of the master who created them. Plot twist; his creator is Phobos himself! Caleb was supposed to be a soulless servant who careied the wish of his master. This part was actually used for the story I am working with my friend @artsofmetamoor
Broke the shacles
Caleb, somehow, managed to gain his free will and intelligence. In the comics or rather an extra issue that came later, it is hinted that Caleb gained his final shape immediately. In our story with my friend, he is coming as a child. But even as a child he realizes that the environment he was in was not good for him so he ran away. He was eventually discovered and rescued by his adopted father Julian (his biological father in the cartoon) who takes him in.
A Promising Genius
Caleb was proven highly intelligent from very early age. For example in the TV series we see him coming up with plans in a second even if he is officially 15-16-17 years of age in the series. This is actually the concept we follow in our story. Caleb was taken in by Julian as a baby named after Julian's own son who was violently killed by Phobos's regime (headcanon). From day one he was raised to be his father's son. He was raised to protect himself not only from the regime but also from the terrifying creatures at war. That happened because of his mind showing such potential, finding clever solutions in every corner. Julian knew he would be not only a worthy heir but also surpassing him (which does happen). Caleb brings the rebellion to its full potential, adding more people to the cause, including other races and sub-races of Meridian and the entirety of Metamoor including Raio, a noble-born who was inspired enough to follow him.
Born in the fire of War, Raised to its Art
As mentioned above, from very early on, Caleb was introduced to the art of war and the several ways to survive. That meant that he had very small childhood or very faintly enjoyed. Caleb was taught martial arts, sword and combact tactics ever since he was a kid. He would also use these in everyday life not only to avoid war but also predators in the forests. He and his adopted brother, Diego were basically children of war and tragedy
What is more Julian dissappeared after a dramatic battle and Caleb had to technically take over as the leader of the rebellion to the tender age of 14 years of age. Despite his young age, under the careful guidance of some of the older and more experienced members of the Rebellion, Caleb grew into a marvelous leader making him already known to the surroundings by the age of 15.
Caleb received an aditional training coicidentally while still running for his life, by one of the many different Galhot races that exist in Meridian, called Tribes. A society of enormous warriors and blacksmiths who mostly live by hunting, gathering and exchanging goods with each other or other Meridian cities. He was trained by a woman by the name of Dilla, who later on becomes his partner and bodyguard during the Rebellion.
A difficult and probably ultimately a bad decision
Caleb begins having strange dreams about a young woman that was later to become the Earth Guardian. Perplexed by his emotions as well as his concern about hurting Dilla with them, he breaks up their relationship and Dilla is to return to her village. Caleb ultimately would regret that decision for the rest of his life.
Betrayed and Imprisoned
For those who followed my friend's work, know that Caleb was betrayed and imrisoned by the very brother he would protect with his life at all occasions; Diego. Diego, the Shapeshifter, someone capable of taking someone's form by absorbing their life essence, imprisons him and uses him as a battery to recharge himself thus stealing his life. Caleb suffered an eternity during his captivity with the knife o betrayal cutting the worst
Hitting Rock Bottom
After his release (details to be shown in the upcoming comic) Caleb hits rock bottom, roaming about Meridian not knowing what to do, using booze which hopes it will end his life. Rescued as if by a miracle by Dilla who helps to nurse him back to health.
Desire for a quiet life
Unlike many examplesof heroes @artsofmetamoor and I worked a lot on the ideas behind Caleb's future. However we realized that what Caleb truly would have wanted was to settle and have a quiet life; settle down be peaceful and have a family!
He finds this stability to Dilla with whom he also finally after so long time gets to have a son with called Kai.
However difficulties will rise once more when tragedy brings Cornelia back into his life just with a different context!
What makes Caleb the Hero;
Caleb is deeply flawed character; he makes crucial mistakes on his way to achieving peace and some of them are due to his ignorance while others due to his harsh life. However what makes him the hero is that he tries his best for those he loves; he goes through trials and ordeals and he has to come out of them as strong as possible to protect others and succeed in his mission at war. He also survives these ordeals not because he never bended but because he learns to get back up again even after hitting the worst way possible rock bottom.
In our stories we do aim to give him the same if not more screentime to open his wings as in the series but with the complexity of the origins of his comic counterpart and we hope to inspire other people follow the example of aiming to become better and better, aiming to overcome your difficulties and that it is never too late to do so.
We also kinda wanna inspire people that the "dream big" doesn't need to be some successful career or some sort of a loud bang in your life. Despite the fact that our Caleb in our story receives the same amount of love and recognition by the people he helped and that he is satisfied with that as well up to one point, ultimately Caleb's goal was to be calm and have a good life; his ultimate destination according to his dream is to be a house-husband who wants to live in his village and take care of his son instead of some sort of successful businessman or warrior however we do not aim to say he loses his masculinity either; he is deeply concerned for his family and protects them and provides for them as well in his own way. His motivations are clearly out of love and caring for his family, for which he has worked so much for . Having a family and protecting it is for him one of the most important things.
Caleb is also a person with deep concern for people around him and society he lives into. In one way we aim to show there is more than oe way one can be successful in their lives and that is something that comes out of nowhere sometimes.
Hero of a story is not just the person who saves the day (which is already important enough that's for sure) but someone that can potentially inspire other people do something or be better versions of themselves and that there is more than one way to achieve that. Plus that its okay to ask for help. Sometimes that is the hardest part of all.
Caleb reached for help and saved himself the same as he saved many people before. Saving himself was probably the most difficult and greatest achievement he ever did in my opinion despite his already heroic course in his life.
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pacifymebby · 2 years ago
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Can I request the peaky blinders with a s/o who was previously in a relationship and there ex popping back up to start back over with them💜
Aw thank you for this message lovely!! Its so nice to know people like my stuff, especially since im quite new to writing peaky boys stuff. So its good to know people are enjoying it haha.
Hope you like these love, some of them are a bit long because i guess i got carried away haha
Tommy
🌿He can tell there's something different about you, something dangerous, a different kind of higher class, the second he sees you..
🌿And when he learns who you are - a mafia princess - his mind is set.
🌿He has to have you... Not just once, but for keeps.
🌿It wouldn't just be startegically a perfect move, ot would also bolster his ego. This is a man who wants the whole world and to wed mafia royalty... That would be a pretty big chunk of the world.
🌿But it would be scandalous in many ways... Hes a politician, a sitting MP... And its no secret the corruption, violence and murderous tendencies of your infamous family. There would be no feigning innocence anymore.
🌿If he's going to be with you he'll have to do it with his whole chest, openly admit to his own corruption and wrong doing, he'd have to be the bad guy in the open...
🌿 And he'd have to play his cards right, he couldn't be playing games with you... He's fairly certain playing games will end with one of your bullets in his brain.
🌿 You're already used to the finer things in life so his wining and dining and usual tactics won't work on you. "Is all this supposed to impress me Mr Shelby?"
🌿Your family probably have tigers roaming the villa grounds you grew up in. You probably grew up alongside wild animals...
🌿 And youre supposed to be impressed by a country estate and race horses...
🌿 Actually the things that really attract you to tommy are these:
🌿🌿He's troubled, he fought in a war, one which your family watched and ignored... You secretly don't believe that the men in your family, know what its really like to be a man, fighting to protect the family... Though they tell you that's what they're doing all the time.
🌿🌿His roots, theres somrthing mysterious about it, the fact that he talks to his horses, the fact you've heard theres a gypsy curse on his head. It's more interesting to you than anything you've heard back in New York
🌿🌿 The fact that there was a time in his life when he had nothing, he actually clawed his way out of poverty...you were born into your riches, you've never really had to work for anything in your life, so youre in awe of the things hes won for himself.
🌿🌿 You also love the way he takes whatever he wants from the world, just snatches it up regardless of whether he deserves it or not. Youre hoping thats what he'll do to you. Steal you away from your family. Claim you as his own.
🌿But you wont admit any of these things to him, you play the princess personality up for all its worth because you like the idea of being the one thing tommy shelby can't have
🌿Tommys brothers think hes daft for even trying... They've seen you, heard rumours about you, they think hes way out of his depth... But tommy is determined
🌿 And one day when you finally give into the charm youd been resisting, you become the most feared couple... The mafia are secretly scared of your gypsy husband, they dont trust that he wont put a curse on them... And tommys family are terrified of you, the unpredictable, spoilt princess who will not hesitate to shoot someone dead just for looking at her funny.
🌿He can't tame you though and it concerns him, you probably make more trouble than its worth... You don't have the manners of the english and you refuse to learn them. Not even Tommy can teach you.
🌿 Calls you princess to patronise you, enjoys talking down to you and trying to put you in your place even if it hardly ever works. Showers you with gifts, and when he realises how drawn to his gypsy roots you are, he starts showering you with gypsy gifts, little trinkets hes carved for you himself, jewels with fine tales behind them, mysterious histories which capture your imagination.
🌿He likes to take you out on horseback to the middle of nowhere, lie down with you under the shade of a tree or on the bank if a river and tell you as many stories as he can, either from his childhood or gypsy tales you tell little children. Its his only way of getting you to calm down or behave yourself, of getting you to stop putting on that "fearless and fearsome mafia wife" personality.
Alfie
🐻Can't imagine you'd get on very well at first... If he realised his attraction to you he'd be angry with himself for thinking that way about a "wop"
🐻 He'd definitely try to ignore it... Which would be difficult because every time you were in a room with him you'd be little miss provocative, trying to get under his skin.
🐻 Youre not sure if thats because youre so used to all men falling at your feet that youre actively pissed off that this man wont... Or if its because you can see that he is attracted to you, but isnt acting on it (which would piss you off even more than the former) OR (and this is unlikely right, you would never!) perhaps you find him attractive. This slightly mad, older man who behaves as close to any mafia man youve ever met only rougher, not so well groomed. Hes a little gruff, theres something a little dirty about him...
🐻 Also youre a mafia woman... Youve been spoilt rotten your whole life by your father and brothers but youve never really felt the love of any of them... Youve only ever been treated like a possession by them... Which is a sure fire recipe for DaddyIssues™️
🐻 This gruff and slightly insane older man then, might be the only person who could ever be everything you ever needed...
🐻 But that discovery probably pisses you off even more, so its likely that in the moment went you realise what you really want from him, you raise your gun to his head, make him look down the end of it.
🐻 He's probably the only one of the peaky men who isn't actually scared of you, not because he doesnt think youre unpredictable and dangerous, but because hes not scared of death, hes looked it in the eyes one too many times to be scared of a "little girl" with a gun.
🐻 "Alright alright so youve got yourself a gun and youre not afraid to use it... You've come in here... To my humble bakery what i built up from absolutely fuck all... And you're waving that thing in my face like its fuckin christmas day and you just plucked it out of Santas fuckin sack..." "Did you get it for Christmas y/n? Did santa make it for you in the North fucken Pole?"
🐻 "You can pretend to be a mad old man all you like Mr Solomons but I'm not scared of old men..."
🐻 "Ohh well, thats alright then, thats good very good actually, cause see somet you might not know about me right? Im not afraid of little girls... Yeah?"
🐻 The remark would shock you a little, not much but enough to make you hesitate, and in that second of hesitation he could disarm you. Not that you'll ever make the same mistake again.
🐻 But this time he disarms you and pushes you back down onto his desk, takes your chin between his thumb and index finger so that you have to look him in the eyes. He can see how angry you are but he isnt deterred because he has control now and he knows he won't get that opportunity again for awhile...
🐻 "Looks like your daddy didn't teach you how to properly handle your weapons... Wouldnt make that mistake me... No, i, would, not." "And anyway, right... Somethin else i wanna know yeah... What kind of father yeah, what kind of fuckin father sends his little girl to the arse end of Camden Town to deal with his fuckin problems?" "You want my advice little girl, if i were you I'd stay right here, with thid here mad old man... Cause i reckon he would know how to take care of you properly..."
🐻 So you have a choice, give into the feelings and desires which have been plaguing you since you first met him, or spit in his face and tell him you'd rather die... And this is a man who just might offer you deal or death, thats how much he's his heart and mind set on you.
🐻 "Oh and Tommy, Tommy my old friend mate, did i tell you,just a little warning yeah, and i know you wouldnt ever think about crossing your dear old friend right but... If that thought ever does come flittering and fluttering into your whimsical gypsy boy brain... Just remember, ive got Mafia connections these days right... So i wouldnt if i were you... "
Arthur
🍂 Shits himself when he sees you pull a gun on a man in one of the Shelby bars in London.
🍂 Arthurs been sent to keep control of them and here you are, a fucking woman... With your gun raised to the eyes of one of his patrons.
🍂 When he steps in "alright alright is someone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on here?" and you answer him cold and simple "This english pig called me a very unpleasant slur and that... Mr Shelby, i won't tolerate..."
🍂 You shoot the man in the head right there in front of everyone. Screaming errupts and chaos and panic set in but you just stand there, strong arm still outstretched. Finger still on the trigger.
🍂 Arthur just gapes at you in shock, hes never seen a woman shoot someone, the fact that youre so glamourous looking too... From afar hed have mistaken you for one of the toffee nosed london elites who usually come to dance and drink in his bars because theyve heard they are dangerous and riddled with gangsters.
🍂 But now it seems, he recognises that accent of yours, turns out youre the gangster.
🍂 "Sorry about the mess Mr Shelby," you give him a quick smile and knock the body on the floor with your foot and turn to leave.
🍂 "Well, hang on a minute love hang on a minute you can't just..." "let me stop you there Mr Shelby..." hes not heard that slanted italian american accent on a woman before but he likes it, "i ain't your love... And i can actually... The evidence is soaking blood into your beautifully varnished floor..."
🍂 He gets into a lot of trouble with Tommy for letting you slip off unpunished, for letting the whole thing happen in the first place...but arthur doesnt see how he could have done anything different.
🍂"You weren't fuckin there Tommy, you didnt fuckin see her..."
🍂 He spends a lot of time tormented with daydreams of you, wants to see you again because hes got it bad for you... Even has a particularly steamy dream about fucking you whilst you hold your gun to his head.
🍂 So when you come back to his bar not a week later with a little white flag you made yourself, hes stunned and speechless and he doesnt know what to say. You say youve come to offer him a peace offering, just between you and him.
Its a little white flag and a little vile of white powder which is his on the condition that he shares it with you.
🍂 So you end up getting high together and fucking, and recreating that hot and heavy dream of his.
John
🌼 Deeply suspicious of you, doesn't trust the italians. You aren't pleasant to eachother to begin with at all.
🌼 You refuse to call eachother by name, hes a "pikey" you're a "wop" and thats that. You resent eachother.
🌼 Which is a shame because Tommy only introduced you before the wedding as an act of mercy to his little brother...
🌼 When you walk down the aisle dressed in white, veil covering your scowl John feels his heart freeze.
🌼 Of course he can't be too unhappy, you are fucking stunning... Your olive skin, your long dark hair, theres something almost virgin Mary about you, especially when youre all in white and pure...
🌼 And you would be lying if you tried to pretend you didnt find the gypsy boy to be good looking. His freckles are cute. He's strong, bulkier than any of those italian boys that have been sucking up to your father hoping for your hand all these years. John looks like a man who might be able to handle you
🌼 But hes still a pikey and youre still a wop and you refuse to say a word to him the whole day of your wedding. You fucking hate your father and you fucking hate tommy shelby
🌼 And in the end thats what draws you and John together. Mutual resentment for the men who forced you together.
🌼 Consumating the marriage is intense... When youre alone together youre both pretty much pretending you don't want it, spitting insults at eachother, hate in your eyes as he backs you up against the wall and you tell him youd sooner die than let a fucking pikey get his hands on you.
🌼 Pisses him off "That can be arranged love don't you fuckin worry," the two of you reaching for your guns at the same time. Challenging eachother, neither one of you backing down, eyes locked, fingers on triggers.
🌼Until something overwhelms you both at once and you can't resist anymore. When you come together its violent and explosive. John enjoys the thought hes tarnishing you, taking your purity, vandalising your virginal self... And you enjoy being fucked against the wall, your hands squeezing his throat, choking him.
🌼 After this the dust begins to settle on your hatred for one another... Youre more united against Tommy and your father than you are against eachother. But you like to keep up the pretence. Its like a fun game you have, pretending to hate eachother then having intense the most intense sex when youre alone. Youre always trying to push the boundaries, testing eachother.
🌼 You still affectionately refer to eachother by your respective slurs but see if anyone else ever tried it... If anyone ever called you a wop, john would put a bullet in them quicker than lightnight, and if anyone ever insulted him for his blood, youd be the one firing your gun.
🌼 John enjoys the way people fear you, he likes having a dangerous wife by his side.
🌼 You like having a dangerous man by your side, one who isn't so sleezy and american and preocupied with their looks... You think hes a real man.
Bonnie
🍀 Poor sweet innocent boy has no idea who you are when he first meets you... And thats partly your fault because you do lie to him.
🍀Youre actually sick of people being so scared of you, you dont think they are really scared of you, you think they are scared of your father... Which isnt fair... Its making it impossible to find a man and pretty soon youre certain your fathers going to arrange your marriage to some sleeze in another mafia family for the good of the lineage anyway
🍀 When you meet Bonnie Gold after one of his fights which Ada Shelby snuck you into, he has no idea about your family, but you know everything about his... And you see one thing in him...
🍀 Escape. You don't want to be a mafia princess anymore. Like Ada you want to shed your family name and be your own person.
🍀 So when you're introduced after the fight you beg him to take you away, to help you dissappear. And him being naive and you being very fucking pretty, he's more than happy to oblige.
🍀 After his fight the two of you disappear together for several weeks, hes no idea of the trouble hes getting himself into, and youre naively trying to pretend this can last forever
🍀You love the nomadic life style, the not knowing where you'll be tomorrow or a week from now, the knowing that nobody can find you, that no one you meet knows a single thing about you. And you like the simplicity too...
🍀Bonnie can tell that youre hiding something from him but he isnt sure what and he trusts that youll tell him eventually... For you to be friends with Ada Shelby, for you to have been so desperate to get away from London... He knows that you have a darkness inside you... But like i said he trusts you... And he's seen a soft and innocent side to you.
🍀Over the weeks you spend travelling together you grow closer and closer. At night you sleep under the stars, wrapped up together in his big coat with a blanket over you both. In the morning you awake with the birds and he teaches you to hunt and to cook wild rabbit. You fall for eachother slowly. When you share your first kiss you feel guilty, you almost cry and he can tell youre upset.
🍀 "Don't be sad little dove, i know you're keeping secrets, i don't mind... You can tell me all your secrets when you're ready,"
🍀 When you return he takes you to meet his father, to tell him you want to be married, that youre in love which makes Aberama laugh. He thinks it hilarious because he can tell that his son still has no idea who you are.
🍀"Well miss youve certainly caused a lot of trouble without trying haven't you..." it turns out your father didnt take kindly to your disappearence.. The italians have been threatening the whole country trying to find you...
🍀 Bonnie is surprised, but quietly pleased... Not just with himself for having a mafia princess fall in love with him, but also because hes in awe of your defiance, this trick youve played on everyone including him... He thought you were sweet and innocent but here you are, a mafia princess whos brought the whole underground crime scene in britain to a grinding halt.
🍀 "Do you hate me Bon? I lied to you... Could get you fuckin killed? I understand if you never want to..." "Don't finish that sentence little dove," him hushing you, hand holding your cheek, thumb to your lips, "Don't need to finish that sentence," kissing you softly is the only answer you need.
🍀The first time he sees you pull a gun on anyone the man in question is your own father. Hes come to bring you home but you wont go... Bonnie is there as a peaky boy, standing with Michael and Isaiah watching and keeping his mouth shut. He knows hes dead if anyone clocks who he is. Your father threatens to kill every gypsy boy he meets until he finds the one whose stolen you... But you stand your ground.
🍀 "i wont lose my daughter to a fucking pikey..." "Then tell people I'm dead," you turn the gun on yourself your eyes locked with your father, your burning with defiance, a truly formidable lass, "I'd sooner blow my own brains out than continue to call you my fucking father..."
🍀 And its the fact he cant tell if youre bluffing that makes him back down. He gives in but tells you that theres no backing out, he'll tell the whole world youre dead, but you are dead, to him, theres no coming back. But you don't back down.
🍀"Your girls a fuckin terror Bonnie lad, hope youre going to tame her," Isaiah laughing eith Michael after the whole affair. "I fucken won't," Bonnies pretty much stubborn about that, he loves your defiance and hes proud cause he knows Isaiah and Michael are secretly terrified of you. Women who don't fear death are the most formidable creatures.
🍀 "You're incredible dove, that was incredible..." "but... You promise me now, you'll never point one of these things at that pretty little head of yours ever again..."
Isaiah
🐀Definitely bitten off more than he can chew. He's in love with you before he even realises whats happened to him.
🐀Doesn't know what to do with himself because for all his arrogance and confidence, he knows a girl of mafia blood is so far out of his league.
🐀Youre in London because your father has business with Tommy Shelby, and your father refuses to travel to the shithole which is Birmigham
🐀You came along for the legal drinking, the shopping and to see what all the fuss about "English" men was...
🐀And you don't think much of any of them at first... Most have them are a little ugly, badly dressed, dirty, with funny accents... And Isaiah has a funny accent but, he's good looking, and he has the cocky nature of any american boy youve ever met.
🐀He gets tasked with chaperoning you much to your delight... Less to your delight you know that one of your fathers men is trailing you too, just to make sure nothing bad happens, that this Peaky Boy doesnt try anything funny with you.
🐀You find it all bitterly amusing, youre a woman, not a mouse. If this Peaky Boy wants to try anything funny with you, just let him try, its you who will see to it he doesn't get very far...
🐀Although the idea of getting up to no good with an english gangster, one your father hates... Well its appealing to say the least. You're a bit of a brat, used to getting your own way, used to doing as you please and facing little consequences later...
🐀So you suggest to your new peaky boy that you both lose your dads man, you ask him to take you through the back streets until your fathers men can't find you... And isaiah knows he shouldnt but hes sensed the mood youre in and he cant pass up the opportunity to go too far with you. He wants to get into trouble with you... He has a feeling that Mafia girls fuck harder, more dangerously.
🐀"You wanna get into trouble Peaky Boy? My father will kill you for this? Aren't you scared?" "Not fuckin scared of anyone me sweetheart," "Fine, do your worst Peaky Boy..."
🐀It doesnt last too long because you don't have much time but its hot and heavy and rough... And its the best you've ever had, maybe thats just the adrenaline of knowing youre up to know good, the adrenaline of risking someone elses life for your own pleasure...
🐀And you do get caught, you suppose if you were being honest with yourself then you'd always known you would be.
🐀You get caught with Isaiahs cock still inside you, he's fucking you against the wall and youre not even being that quiet about it... your fathers man goes to shoot at Isaiah but you get there first, your shot killing your fathers man in a second...
🐀Isaiah is stunned, almost drops you but he doesnt want to dissapoint you so he tightens his grip, hes scared too, youre in so much fucking trouble and if anyone finds out what just happened Tommy will kill him before your father does...
🐀"Don't go soft on me Peaky Boy I'm only just getting started..." you practically growl, grinding your hips into his, and Isaiah isnt about to let you go, so he channels is fear and his amazement into fucking you twice as hard, growling to you about how much trouble youre going to get him into.
🐀But obviously its fucking worth it.
🐀You make him take you shopping afterwards and you return to your father with so many pretty dresses and shoes. A new red lipstick too.
🐀He obviously wants to know what happened, why his man hasn't returned with you and you speak before Isaiah can...
🐀"oh did you have someone following me daddy? We didn't notice anyone? Did you Isaiah?" the boy cant believe what hes hearing right now, youre asking him to lie not just to your father, but his own boss too... Still he does, after that day hes sure hed do anything you asked him to.
🐀You also make up a little story of your own, about how you were threatened by a man, someone tried to disresepct your dignity, you tell him Isaiah took his eyes for the insult and your father is quite satisfied that Tommys boy can keep you safe... So next time you want to go out, your father makes the condition that Isaiah has to go with you.
🐀Which you're quite happy with.
🐀"Youre gonna be the death of me love,"
🐀 So much of the time youre the one causing problems, getting yourself into scraps, because youre used to being a mafia princess, no one back home would dare say a word to you but over here so many of the men don't understand who you are... You wont stand for their shit
🐀So Isaiah does end up taking peoples eyes for you... Most of the time however its you that does the killing. Youre a real violent little brat it doesnt take much for you to decide to pull that trigger...
🐀Isaiah hasnt told any of his mates about what the two of you get up to when you get eachother alone... Its difficult for him to keep this to himself, usually he'd be bragging to high heaven about laying a woman like you... But he's keeping quiet because he knows it'll be you who kills him if he speaks.
Michael
☘️Meets you in America when hes been sent away by tommy... Hes harbouring that bitterness towards his cousin when he finds himself in dealings with the mafia on his brothers behalf.
☘️His life in America is good... He might not be there of his own free will, he might not be allowed to come back, but hes making it work, hes a feared gangster, a powerful and dangerous man
☘️And hes starting to get ideas above his station... Hes met you several times, youre always in his speakeasies drinking, getting snowed up and demanding Shelby gin on the house, your name affords you everything you want after all
☘️And he thinks you're another one of those pretty, espensive things he'd like to add to his collection.
☘️Youd be a real status changer for him, he could use you to win his feud with Tommy, finally be more powerful than his cousin...
☘️ And you're attracted to the brooding English man who runs this part of the city... He does dealings with your father so you know hes a real player in this game, hes dangerous too... And perhaps the only man arrogant enough not to fear the barrel of your fathers gun.
☘️Youve been going to Michaels bars and acting out, getting too drunk and causing fights because you want to get his attention. Its a childish way to attract a man but you know men like Michael Gray, you know that what they want is a possession, something they can tame, put in its place. Teach to be obedient. They like the challenge and secretly they like it when a woman threatens their ego and misbehaves.
☘️And you're right, youve read him like a book... He approaches you one evening at the bar and well, hes stern, hes aggressive, hes almost... Almost fucking rude to you...
☘️ "Miss y/l/n I'd like a word..." "Take your pick Mr Gray, how about two, fuck... Off..." "Don't test me love... You're going to come back to my office with me now, youre going to come quietly and then we're going to talk... And we can talk nicely or you can keep up with whatever this childish little act is alright? But you're going to come with me and we're going to have a little chat alright about the kind of behaviour which is and isnt acceptable in my establishment... "
☘️"Who the fuck do you think you are Mr Gray... Do you have any idea who i am?" "I know youre a little mafia brat with no manners... Anything else?"
☘️ Drags you by the wrist into his office where he practically pushes you down into a chair.
☘️ Stands before you and actually lectures you about your behaviour... About how he isnt going to stand for it anymore...
☘️" So whatre you going to do about it Mr Gray?" youre so cheeky, a real brat, but youre being provocative too... You know what you want from him and as you speak you open your legs just enough to catch his attention.
☘️ "So youre a whore as well as a brat are you?" this actually shocks you, you flush a little but youre idignant and you hold your ground. "Is that what you'd like me to be Mr Gray?"
☘️ He's going to teach you to behave, one way or another... And the only way he manages to is by fucking you into submission... Thats the only way he can get you to behave yourself for him, the only way he can make you beg his forgiveness...
☘️ Outside of the bedroom though youre still a spoilt brat and he doesnt help the fact, he buys you gifts, courts you properly, makes all the right moves on both you and your father
☘️Until eventually your father is convincrd that marrying you off to Michael Gray is the best business move he could possibly make.
☘️ So youre handed over to him on a silver fucking platter and though you pretend to remain defiant "Dont think this means I'm going to behabe myself Mr Gray..." secretly youre thrilled, this is exactly what you wanted.
☘️You want him to take you back to england with him, you want to meet the infamous Tommy Shelby... And when he finally takes you "home" dont be surprised hes showing you off like a pretty piece of jewellery...
☘️And should he really be surprised when Tommy catches your eye, when you realise that there are men more rich, more powerful and more dangerous than Michael Gray for you to persue.
☘️Threatens you, "you fuckin touch my cousin you little brat, I'll kill you..." but this jealousy, this new passion in him turns you on and so you find yourself caught trying to balance two men. Youre being selfish, youre taking everything you want, no matter who gets hurt.
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marvelandimagine · 4 years ago
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I think some people mad about the arm is not necessarily about the fact that Ayo disabling the arm itself, it's more of the fact that it was not necessary and the fact that Bucky had no idea they can do that. If I were to be honest, I think it was not that necessary because Ayo is well capable of taking him down without having to disarm him and she is definitely not threatened by him. I think what some people find upsetting about that scene is the fact that it kinda comes off as Ayo putting Bucky in a position where it would make him feel like he doesn't have full control of his own body after all. The Wakandans, especially Ayo, T'Challa and Shuri had every right to feel betrayed and upset but the point is they should have told Bucky about how the arm can easily be disabled like that, they didn't know Bucky was going to set Zemo free when they gave him the arm and regardless of the things they have done for him and if they were ones who gave him the arm, they should have at least told him about it, because it's connected to him, it's a part of HIS body. It doesn't matter if it was necessary to disarm him or not, the point is they should have told him about it because apart from the fact that it's his body and that it was a bit insensitive given his history, it's also a point of vulnerability, and the fact that she did it in front of Walker (and possibly Zemo) --- people who can easily turn on Bucky, could easily that to their advantage and attempt to disable it themselves. Just my thoughts on it.
Thank you for sharing your perspective, anon!
I’m going to use this long-ass reply to address this stuff with Ayo and also voice some thoughts I’ve had over the past few weeks seeing people paint Bucky into being this complete soft and harmless human that needs 25-7 protection which I don’t jive with — and this is me, a complete Bucky stan.
Many moons ago, I saw a post that compared 1940s Bucky moving with stealth and a loaded gun on the train to the Winter Soldier doing the same thing, essentially discussing the similarities and debating how much of non-brainwashed Bucky was in the Soldier. And I think the fandom forgets or chooses to neglect the following when painting him as this fragile, peace-loving guy:
Bucky was an incredibly skilled sniper in the United States Army. His job is to eliminate threats in the most efficient way possible, and he’s good at it. HYDRA gets their hands on him and + the serum, this gets magnified. It wasn’t like HYDRA turned him into someone with the ability and mental capacity to kill — that was already there. The brainwashing and torture just carved out the rest of him to leave those honed skills and an amplified ruthlessness with no moral issues, no sense of self to contend with. That ruthlessness is part of Bucky, whether people like it or not.
When Bucky is outside of HYDRA for the first time and hiding in Civil War and gets attacked, he’s so brutal in his actions that Steve Rogers, the man who literally was ready to die to save Bucky and free him when no one else believed in the good in him, intervenes because “Buck, you’re going to kill someone.” Bucky responds that he’s not going to kill anyone, but the fact remains: with or without HYDRA control, Bucky has a strong capacity for violence that hovers on brutality — again, what’s the most efficient way to eliminate or neutralize a threat? Like, I don’t want to kill you, but I’ll knock your ass out with cinder blocks to the chest.
Bucky has a good heart, he’s loyal, he’s smart, he’s caring, he’s the longest-standing POW in history and was turned into a slave for decades, put through unimaginable trauma and torture and horror with no escape. Bucky is also a strong and incredibly skilled super soldier who has a bionic arm, is a trained sniper, is unnervingly precise with knives, and self-describes himself as “semi-stable.” Zemo notes in the bar that “it didn’t take Bucky long to get back into form,” and he’s right because the ruthlessness and skill of the Winter Soldier is a part of him and always has been. We see it when he has his hand around Zemo’s neck and tells him he will kill him, when he rips the glass from his hand and throws it across the room.
And I’m sure the Wakandans know all this about Bucky, this light and his ability for hard-to-stop violence, whether from talking to Steve and Bucky or doing their own homework. And they still choose to help him out of the goodness of their hearts because he’s been put through hell and they believe they have the capacity to help him and it’s the right thing to do — they’re betting more on those positive attributes. And they put a failsafe on his arm, a literal weapon, and chose not to tell him. You know why I think that shows how much they did care about him? Because they could’ve blatantly come out and said “Hey, we don’t trust you,” and hurt him outright, but they didn’t because they’re betting on the light in Bucky to outweigh the dark or any future manipulation. That it’s a worst-case scenario function they hope to never have to use — so they’re prepared if shit hits the fan, and if it doesn’t, Bucky doesn’t have to be hurt feeling like he can’t be trusted. I see no issues here, they’re just being cautious.
Now coming to Ayo, my QUEEN Ayo. From that beautiful, beautiful opening scene, we get to see her support, her reassurance, her belief that Bucky will be able to work through this, even when he doesn’t believe it himself. She watches him fight and struggle and cry, and you can feel the hope in her and how moved she is when she gets to tell him it worked, he did it — he’s free. And she says it not once, but twice. And you can hear not just the comfort, but the PRIDE and warmth in her voice directed to him, who I’m sure she’s watched throughout the whole deprogramming process and gotten to know and is happy to see him work through the pain and come out on the other side.
And then she sees that same individual make a decision in freeing Zemo that she perceives as a “fuck you” not just to her country, but to her, someone who was charged with protecting her king. She could’ve just disarmed Bucky the second they met up, but she doesn’t. She takes the time to explain her side and her feelings, her guilt and her shame, and basically implies that she feels betrayed by Bucky because Wakanda helped him and now he’s doing something that’s hurting her country. And still, she doesn’t attack or just go get Zemo. She gives Bucky the benefit of the doubt and a whole 8-hour American workday to do what he has to do because again, she believes in the best of him. And then that time limit runs up, and he chooses to get in her way.
And that’s the final straw. She’s angry, she’s guilty, she’s frustrated, and she feels betrayed hurt by someone I think she did respect and care about, someone whom she worked with and helped and supported when he was his most vulnerable. Did she “need” to disarm the arm to fight Bucky? Probably not. But is she doing it in the heat of battle and adrenaline and a whole bucket ton of emotions, including what she sees as the White Wolf blatantly disrespecting her country and her as a person and even friend and she just says fuck it, I’m done? You hurt us and me, and I’m going to hurt you back? Oh yeah. And Bucky looks shocked, not because he’s a poor fragile baby and “oh no, my arm, how could you?? my TrAumA”, but in the dual realization of “oh shit, how’d you do that?!” and “oh shit, I think I crossed a line here.” And also, I don’t think a single person in that room would be able to recreate the disabling sequence other than Ayo — it’s way too targeted and specific for someone like Walker to pick it up in the whole three seconds it took.
People need to stop reducing characters to these black and white extremes of soft and hard, of good and bad. Doing so completely devalues and ignores the REALITY of the complexity of being human, and Bucky and Ayo are both great examples of that played by stellar actors who portray that range and depth extremely well. End of the day, my thought is that the failsafe in the arm was justified and people need to stop coming for Ayo based on this ridiculous narrative that Bucky is too traumatized and sensitive and too much of a fave to ever be challenged or he’ll explode into dust. Boy deserves a life of freedom and healing and mental health support, but he’s also still a formidable opponent with the capacity for violence and skillset to kill. People are more than one thing.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!!
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sixeyesgojo · 4 years ago
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jjk characters handling your period
Summary: “What do you mean, no baby this month either? Okay, suffer then.” - your damn uterus
Pairings: Gojo/Megumi/Nanami/Naoya/Toji x Reader
Content warning: the monthly bloody nightmare your uterus puts you through and the whole shebang that comes with it, language warning, suggestive themes, explicit warning for Toji (you’ll see why)
A/N: purely self-indulgent because I suffer. @megumifushi and @sukirichi , my gals, I gotcha. Also dedicated to all readers who suffer from the same fate (may it be right now or not). Also: Yes, absolutely open the video I linked in Megumi’s part (it’s safe, I promise).
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Gojo Satoru
You turn and turn in bed uncomfortably. Something isn’t right, you think and it’s not the fact that Satoru is missing next to you. Not knowing immediately irritates you. All of a sudden you become painfully aware of your lower region. Yes, of course it had to be that time of the month. You just knew you already stained your panties and perhaps the sheets haven’t been spared either. Getting out of bed, then realizing it was already past noon, you sprinted to the bathroom. Fuck, moving fast was not a good idea. 
Having changed the sheets and your stained panties, you made your way to the kitchen. Your stomach growled, signaling you were hungry, but at the same time you feared. Smelling food, let alone tasting too much of it, was a slippery slope – either your nose would protest or your stomach, no in-between. Regardless, you had to eat; or were you supposed to starve to death because of this? Not in this lifetime. “I AM BACK!” an annoyingly loud voice rang through the apartment. You groan and turn around. “Fuck off, Satoru,” you say. Your irritation flaring up for seemingly no reason. “Stop being so motherfucking loud. My head feels like it’s going to split in two and my pussy is fighting the crimson war right now,” you snarled at him.
“Oh honey, seems like I called the right shots then,” he declared proudly and held up a bag filled with... snacks? “I already called in sick for you for the next few days,” Satoru continued to explain as he wrapped his arms around you, “and I’ll be by your side 24/7 for the next two days. We’ll do fun stuff. How does movie night with lots of cuddling for tonight sound?”
“Why are you so nice to me right now?” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. “Simple: I don’t want to be castrated by you,” he whispered back and planted a kiss on your cheek. “Fair enough. What will we do tomorrow?” He stayed silent but pulled out a black card out of his sleeve. You gasped.
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Fushiguro Megumi
Ping. A notification. Quickly, you scrambled to get your phone to see what that was about. You desperately needed some distraction right now. The pain was too much. Your boyfriend Megumi had gone somewhere you didn’t know. All you knew was that your boobs were sore, the sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric were already too much. In addition to that, you also experienced period cramps, resulting in back pain as well. Life was not easy at the moment but at least you could lay in bed for today, doing absolutely nothing.
Unlocking your phone, you saw a new message from Yuji: “omg look at this???” [Video link] It was a video of 42 seconds. There was a cute seal – probably the cutest and fluffiest seal you have ever seen – and background music. It may have only lasted 42 seconds but it definitely triggered some happy feelings inside you; it was so pure and you loved the energy of the clip. Perhaps these feelings were a bit too intense and overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It wasn’t even a sad video, was it?
You buried your face in the blankets, weeping as if someone just broke up with you. Through your loud crying, you did not notice the door opening. A jangling noise could be heard from your nightstand. Instantly, you shot up to check for intruders but luckily, it was Megumi. A frown spread on his face. “What happened?” he asked as his thumbs wiped your tears from your cheeks. You showed him the video, still sobbing, “Look at the seal... It’s so c-cute. I just... got emotional because it really t-traveled the world. This cutie deserves the whole world...”
“And so do you,” he bluntly stated, “now take the ibuprofen I brought you for the cramps and rest up.” As a matter of fact, he not only brought you painkillers but a hot water bottle and food as well.
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Nanami Kento
“No, give me that. Lay down and rest. I can dust off the shelves on my own,” his deep voice commanded. If there was a man that screamed “male wife” it was definitely Nanami Kento, particularly when it came to you being on your period. You weren’t allowed to do anything in the house, except for very light chores. With good reason. “Kento, I can do–” Yeah, no, it wasn’t possible and Kento knew it too well.
You weren’t lucky when it came to period symptoms. Besides excruciating back pain, extremely sore breasts and headaches, you also had the luck to suffer from dizziness every single time you experienced the monthly nuisance. The first time you even passed out. In fact, it had happened several times. And that was precisely how Kento decided to not let you do anything. Still, you felt bad to leave everything to Kento. His work already demanded so much from him and here you were, being babied and even spoon-fed. You didn’t even have to cook your own meals or wash and iron laundry.
You had barely said those words when the unwelcome whirling sensation took you over again. Your feet wobbled, you were in danger of crashing to the ground. In a flash, Kento was by your side to steady you. “I told you not to overdo it.” He cupped your cheek with his warm hand. “Sorry, Kento. I’ll... just rest for a minute.”
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Zenin Naoya
Period pain? Laughable. Naoya thought it was pathetic. A woman – these already weak creatures – having period symptoms was a mystery to him. What could possibly hurt about bleeding a little? He couldn’t understand. Your pitiable and sorry state was only another inconvenience to him. Not that you hindered him in any way – you were obedient enough to be quiet and complain as little as possible – but he absolutely despised seeing that annoying expression of pain on your face every time he had to look at it.
Hell, he didn’t even want to engage in sexual activities with you during that time, even though he had randomly picked up somewhere that it might help. Not that he wanted to help you, it was your problem and yours only, not his. “Stop looking at me with those eyes. It’s disgusting,” he remarked condescendingly as he got dressed for wherever he had to go. “When will you be back?” you croaked out but he totally ignored you.
“Women are so damn weak. It’s so fucking pathetic, I almost want to give you a hug,” Naoya gagged. He was about to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of your face that was contorted with pain. In long strides, he made it to one of the cabinets, fished out a tiny box and threw it on the bed. “Tsk, you better get well soon so you can serve me again, dumb bitch.”
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Fushiguro Toji (soft)
Work hadn’t been treating him kindly: not yesterday, not today, not ever. Although he was highly capable and never failed to exceed himself, all Toji truly wanted to do was to go home. When he finally made it through the door, he called out, “Am home.” Usually, you would come running to greet him but when nothing but silence greeted him, his hand instantly moved to the cursed creature lingering on his shoulder. It was suspicious. Did enemies manage to find this hideout? Where were you? His hands started sweating.
Stealthily, he approached the kitchen. To his surprise, he saw your form in front of the counter, hunched over in pain. Dropping his offensive stance immediately, he quickly strode over to check on you. “Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked, hesitatingly putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, grimacing with pain, “Oh, Toji. I didn’t realize you were home yet. Sorry, I’m not done cooking dinner yet, I just feel so nauseous, exhausted and my entire back  and shoulders hurt so much. It’s so sore.” “I see.” He nodded, understanding what was happening. Suddenly, he lifted you effortlessly. You squealed, “Toji!! What are you doing?!” “Taking care of you,” he promised. “But dinner!” “Don’t care.”
Making his way to the bedroom, Toji laid down with you on top of him. Something about his warmth already made you feel better but as his large palms rubbed your back in circular motions, you felt as if you were in heaven. Toji’s ministrations soothed the pain so well, you almost let out a moan. Now that the pain didn’t overshadow all the other symptoms anymore, the drowsiness took over. “Toji, ‘m tired,” you mumbled; eyelids fluttering already. “Then sleep. I’ll take care of dinner later,” he whispered. You only hummed in response, already far too gone. Slowly but surely, his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep. “Sleep tight.”
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Taglist: @megumifushi​ @gojos-mochi​ @assbuttbaek​ @bleueluna​ 
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filipinoizukuu · 3 years ago
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hello mr simp do you have any thoughts on the leeks 👀
FIRST OF ALL. THEY CAME SO FUCKING EARLY??? BRO I WAS ASLEEP
SECOND OF ALL
holy SHIT YALL
Okay, it's no secret that I'm an All Might stan. I LOVE All Might. Very very much. Not just as a simp, but genuinely, I enjoy his character SO MUCH.
--And unlike what some people may think, I'm not totally blind to his flaws. I know he sucks as a mentor and that he's done way more harm to Deku than good. He's.... not perfect. in every sense of the word. The whole point of AM's character is that he is a DEEPLY FLAWED individual— but at the end of the day, still good.
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This new chapter gave me SOOO many new feelings. I'm not gonna lie to y'all and say I was a Stain apologist beforehand because I wasn't. I disliked Stain to a certain degree, but I also knew he was morally grey enough that I was able to still quite appreciate him as a character. This chapter was about EVERYTHING to me because I honestly did NOT expect Hori to go in this direction and for things to happen the way they did. It was too good to be true! Too fanfic-y! The disbelief I felt when I read what happened was on par with when Bakugou and Deku had that apology and kinda-hug in the rain!
But this disbelief is not because it was a bad thing.
I think the writing in Chapter 326 is phenomenal. The moment that All Might was really beginning to lose hope in not just himself as a hero, but himself as a PERSON... we finally hear the opinion of someone who would abso-fucking-LUTELY make or break the last of his spirit.
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Stain is, as much as his views are pretty agreeable and his label is that of a vigilante, still a pretty shitty guy. He's tried to kill literal kids who got in his way, even if said kids made pretty dumb decisions. AM hearing what he has to say is absolutely mind-boggling to him because he knows all of that. He knows Stain is a shitty person and that his worldview is perhaps terribly skewed. He knows Stain has spent a hot minute frying his brains down in Tartarus and isn't good at making judgment calls. Knows that for all intents and purposes, Stain's opinions are not to be trusted.
But the thing is... Toshinori also knows that Stain, regardless of the soundness of his mind, is telling the truth.
Regardless of how fucked-in-the-head Stain is, we as readers are able to acknowledge that he isn't blinded by hero worship. Sure, he's bitter, cynical, and quite the absolutist--but Stain is still clear-headed enough to be able to see AM's flaws for what they are and accept them, ultimately proving to Toshinori that the power of All Might was never his own but rather the legacy that he inspired.
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The society MHA takes place in is flawed. We all know this. Heroes, as a concept, had been corrupted into being purely about good and evil. Purely winning fights for money or fame or the abstract concept of victory (coughs Endeavor and the no.1 spot coughs), making heroism as we know it about flashiness and power instead of mercy and the desire to help others.
All Might symbolizes the ideal version of the Hero Society. He represents doing the best you can. Being a hero until you reach your limits, and then going even past that. He symbolizes pure intention and the desire to be a hero not for material gains but because of the pure want to make society a better and safer place. Stain refers to Kamino Ward and the statue as a "holy land" because he believes that through and through, AM's only had the purest of intentions and morals. To him, Toshinori was like a deity that had no fault in making society what it was in the present because that accountability fell on the generations of heroes that failed to fulfill his legacy.
The point being, Stain understood that All Might was fundamentally not about 'being there' for everyone 24/7, but rather the message his presence had sent.
All Might's monologue at the beginning of the chapter essentially boiled down to the ideas that:
A. He regrets not being there properly for Deku
B. His image was a delusion that ultimately led to the downfall of hero society.
To break this down, his problem with Deku is his inability to be a competent mentor. It shows that he has led him down dangerous and horrible paths (Deku's stubbornness to do things by himself and his 'dark' arc post-war), and is unable to bring him back into the light even if he tries. It was only when Class 1-A had intervened that they were able to get Deku to rest and let people tag along, after all, which is why Toshinori was far too embarrassed to follow him into UA's walls even after everyone had come out with umbrellas.
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Stain disproves this in two ways.
First, he says that it was never about All Might's ability to actually be there for people. The whole point of what inspired Deku to be the inherently good-hearted "true hero" he is today is because of the values that AM's brand had instilled in him as a child. AM's biggest positive impacts came from behind the screen where he was used as the proof that true heroes can and do exist. Deku does want to be exactly like All Might, yes, which is why we see Toshinori leading him down the same path that he walked--but the underlying message of this is that the very first thing All Might gave him even before OfA was the courage to help fix society.
I do believe Deku is an innately compassionate person. Most people in the series are. However, what makes All Might's smile so uniquely impactful to what it did to Hero Society is the way it gave people courage to help people. Less hesitation. Less bystander syndromes. The ability to move without thinking. Because you can feel the want to help a person, but the courage to be nosey and actually do it? That's portrayed as something AM's image teaches people.
The second way he disproves AM's insecurity of dragging Deku down is that he makes it clear that this pain is somewhat of a necessity in reforming society. He says, interestingly enough, that this is but the 'middle process' in reforming society. This spills over to how he addresses Problem B, but what Stain is essentially saying here is that this sort of brutality and isolation that Izuku faces is impermanent. A phase. It implies that even if Deku is struggling and Toshinori is unable to help him, it is something that needs to happen before they re-realize the ideal heroes All Might's image is meant to create.
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The second problem in regards to how All Might feels about current society (how it's collapsing because of him, etc. etc.) is more interestingly addressed. There are many things that Stain says--like how Toshinori doesn't need to actually be the one to fix society with his bare hands. The current society is not his fault because of the fact that it is not finished developing. I'm not sure if I can go so far as to say that Stain means this in the sense of the Scorched Earth method of tearing everything down to build it back up better-- but I can say that Stain still has faith in society to rebuild after this period of chaos.
This rebuilding starts with the old generation of heroes correcting what they messed up (i.e. Endeavor v Dabi) and more importantly, paving the way for a better generation of heroes that was inspired by All Might's image. Heroes that are led by people like Deku, who is defined by his proclivity to help without thinking. The violent deconstruction of society is about exposing society to the raw truth of All Might's image that not everybody can be as strong as him-- which is why we have to take care of each other.
When the lady comes in to remove the sign and start cleaning the statue, it's symbolic. It's a clear metaphor that the past few chapters are the turning point for society as a whole, and how people are starting to remember what real heroism is. From the distrust that was seeded in society ever since LoV had surfaced, we are seeing that trust being returned TEN-FOLD now that people can see not only the mask of a hero's smile, but also the person underneath.
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I think it's some really neat symbolism here too about how Deku, who's metal mouth guard was literally all about representing All Might's smile, is shed.
This is hero society dropping their masks. Letting people see them for as they are. Toshinori revisiting the statue in this form makes all the more impact because he shed his mask ages ago during the Kamino Bust, so this is him coming face to face with the image he's created and seeing the differences between them, and how his image continues to live on even after he's almost completely Quirkless. The lady cleaning the All Might statue shows off the fact that things can be repaired again--that society can be clean (hehe stain pun) again.
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It's interesting to me here how Stain offers the information from Tartarus.
He doesn't care anymore about his life. It's evident. He disagrees with what the LoV is doing, but believes enough in Deku to think that it's time for him to retire the mantle of 'Stain'. Unless this is another test, it's very odd for me to hear that Stain is offering a blade and his life to someone he isn't even sure is All Might.
But the impact of this action reads loud and clear.
This is Stain taking pity on All Might. This is him realizing that All Might too is a person behind the hero. That Toshinori Yagi is incapable of doing anything past the image he had already created. By offering that knife and information on Tartarus, Stain is giving control back to Toshinori. He is giving AM the chance to do something big again to help society's reconstruction. To be a part of the revolution that he so badly deserves to see. That knife is essentially an exit ticket from the sidelines, and one last chance for All Might to be able to see what his image has done for people.
I personally think that the main reason Stain is willing to die then and there by Toshinori's hand, despite not being sure that he is All Might to begin with, is because of the final impact it creates that it isn't about Toshinori Yagi's true power as a person, but the image of All Might. It is because he looks like the symbol of peace, that Stain (the literal HERO KILLER) feels comfortable laying his life in his hands and giving away valuable information.
If that isn't a great testament to the power of AM's image, I don't know WHAT is.
I guess all I have to say is I absolutely love what Stain did in this chapter. Everything felt so incredibly symbolic and emotional and as someone who absolutely ADORES All Might and what he stands for in the story, this felt like a cool balm after seeing Deku tragically reject his bento box a good few chapters ago. I have a few more opinions about symbolism, and how I think Deku's generation of heroes is going to stray from the old gen, but I think that's a discussion for another time.
Thanks for reading 'til the end!
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gimme-mor · 3 years ago
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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE
*DISCLAIMER*
This will be a long post.
Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.
The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.
I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.
Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.
Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:
Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions
Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect
Disliking Elain is misogynistic
What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien
Elain antis are misogynistic
All Eluciens are Elain antis
Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta
Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation
I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring
Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?
The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain
If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel
If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women
If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic
Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice
Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male
Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable
The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive
It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other
Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain
It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?
So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?
The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh
The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?
People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain
When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain
As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell
Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character
Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain
Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis
No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?
Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets
Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way
It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations
We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her
Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta
Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with
Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain
From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?
You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain
People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin
Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?
It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain
People hate Elain for no reason
Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows
We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?
Elain has had a lot forced upon her
The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)
Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her
Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits
Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?
I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?
Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good
It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)
I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this
Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character
Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass
We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way
There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her
It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through
The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain
Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity
We don’t know enough to hate Elain
Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)
However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives
And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)
I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma
Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out
Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard
Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court
SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there
Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.
Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.
Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:
White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors
White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable 
White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic
White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege
White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people 
White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people
White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people
White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group
White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people
White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”
White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already 
White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed
White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place
White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability
Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?
It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.
Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.
To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.
It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?
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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon
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razelssacredplace · 2 years ago
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Spoiler Warning for God of War: Ragnarök!!!
The following post is a rant that contains spoilers for the end of GoW:R. Don't like that? Scroll onwards friends, but remember to take screen breaks too!
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With that said, I feel the need to comment on the ending, specifically the last stretch as a whole and the battle. I think 90% of it was absolutely awesome, and I probably have to go back and rewatch some stuff because there are absolutely things I missed.
But I'll tell you what I didn't miss.
I didn't miss that they completely glossed over Thor sending Jorman back in time to his creation, and really didn't offer much dialogue about it either. From my perspective they told it to fuck off and didn't want it to be the focus at any point.
I also didn't miss the fact that GoW:R fell victim to a very big issue in storytelling, and especially storytelling as of late. And it has to do with Freyr and Thor. And anybody who shares my opinion on this subject knows exactly what I'm talking about already, probably just when I said that.
Did Freyr and Thor not fight to have good endings? I don't care about any "death flags" or what, none of that shit. Did Thor not fight so very hard to preserve his family and life, regardless of his methods? Was the point of the game not to "Be better" among other messages? Yeah great he was better at the very end, but it would've meant more to see Thor trying to be better after the story.
Imagine the post game where you get to see Thor taking steps to better himself, to be a better father, a better God, and a better person. And do you know why it would be so important to show that imo? Because it parallels Kratos. It shows that, by Kratos being better than the bloody slaughter-monster he used to be, he impacts someone just like him. Another bloody monster who's so tired of it all, but has escaped into far worse habits and vices. Another monster just like Kratos that he saves, just like how he saved himself. And why? Because Thor deserved that good ending after all he went through from Odin to protect the family he had left.
As for Freyr, he falls into the same category. A hurt, beaten, and broken character who's fighting to survive in this world with the people he has left, fighting for a good ending. Fighting for his sister to be free, fighting for his own justice and revenge after being lit ablaze by lesser Aesir, fighting to be better. And that's the crux of it all in Ragnarok. Everyone was fighting to be better.
Now I'm not saying the game is bad or it was ruined for me because of this. At the end of the day I do understand why they died because Ragnarok is a war, and not everyone walks away from war. Plus in the old myth (which may or may not be real Norse mythology) Thor does die, along with basically everyone. I understand why it happened but I wish they got the good ending.
Then again, maybe that's a testament to how good the game is. Just my two cents in the end.
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thasdorah · 2 years ago
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it's just stuck in my brain how, despite being portrayed as one of the 'good' characters (a hero of the alliance, a respected leader, a character who more often than not has her connection to the void pointed out as her greatest flaw), alleria has traits that would have her being seen very differently were they not employed for causes like fighting for her people or defending the alliance. and how evident that becomes with her return when people are so suspicious and mistrustful of her because of the void when she's actually being no more ruthless than she always was.
when the locus-walker says killing comes easily to her is because it does. not in the sense she necessarily revels in it, or that she'd go around killing things just because, but rather that it is never something she really struggles with. what i mean is: characters like anduin, even when they have to fight and kill, even if it's to protect others, often struggle with it. alleria doesn't. she is ruthless, and she is a killer, and she would not be nearly as well-loved if the people around her didn't think she was killing "the right" sort of things. taking lives doesn't weigh on her conscience, because she feels justified in her reasons for doing it when she does (and this applies to demons as much as it does to fighting the horde, as much as it did to hunting down orcs like animals. they are a threat, they are in the way, she'll gladly kill if it keeps her world and her homeland and her loved ones safe)
and i think, in part, the second quote complements the first because alleria sees herself as a hunter, it's what she was taught to be, it's what she always thrived as. before she was a ranger, with the military training and discipline (or as much of it as she ever absorbed, anyway), she was already a hunter. she learned to track and read the forest for that, but also to understand her prey and be capable of exploiting that. you don't get to be as good a hunter as she is by having mercy on your prey or hesitating to kill. respectful as she may be when taking a life (highly depends on circumstances), it doesn't change she does not hesitate to take. that it is easy for her to do it.
at one point, she used that against people, bc the orcs she hunted down were people regardless of her wanting to see that or not. she killed them without mercy, regardless of age or role, regardless of them being civilians or not. there's that dehumanization of enemies and a ruthlessness that does not allow her to even entertain the thought of connecting with them on any level. and while in this specific regard she did grow to be better, as in, not considering the orcs vermin to be exterminated, i think the element of dehumanization and disconnect from enemies is ever present when she's in the battlefield. when you spend so long fighting that war is the only thing you're comfortable with, killing becomes second-nature.
the locus-walker sees her for what she is (and how could he not? part of her training demanded him to enter her mind and know all there was to know. he doesn't understand everything even then, but in this he is right). alleria never tries to hide it. but most people seem like they don't see it - not unless her viciousness is turned on someone they don't think deserve it, or her ruthlessness crosses moral lines they personally condemn. so long as she's a killer in a way that suits those around her she's a hero. when it doesn't, even if that was in her way before she was intrinsically tied to the void as the locus-walker perceives, though... isn't it the void messing with her head? how can she be trusted? this isn't her, or it isn't what a hero of the alliance should be (but it's what she's always been, whether they like it or not)
when the locus-walker said "Shall we start with more killing? No. That comes naturally to you [...]" and when alleria herself said "But I am a hunter. I think as my prey does."
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luna-rainbow · 3 years ago
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I'm glad Steve encouraged Vision to live. However, I've read the argument for why he should have let him die and you're deforming it. The two main points are: 1) it was Vision's decision. If Steve had the right to trade his life for the greater good (TFA), Vision had that right too ; 2) While it was not his intention, by not beeing willing to let Vision sacrifice himself, he knew there was an almost certain chance Wakanda's lives would be lost. And their lives aren't worth less.
Again...I'm not sure which post you're referring to.
The only post I can recall where I spent some effort discussing the decision about Vision was around the accusation that Steve was to blame for the Snap. Which, no, he wasn't -- Thanos was to blame, and as soon as Thanos had the Time Stone, regardless of whether they killed Vision, the Mind Stone was a lost cause.
As for the ethical question of whether Vision should have been killed, I don't think there is a right answer for it, because:
a) It's a comparison between a definite death and possible deaths. You're actively choosing to take one life to reduce the potential of other lives being taken. There is no guarantee that Wanda could have destroyed the Mind Stone, so that means you have committed to killing someone for the possibility of something that may turn out to be futile.
b) There is also no guarantee that taking the Mind Stone earlier from Vision would have prevented the loss of Wakandan lives. Thanos' army was already on Wakanda's doorstep. What do you think the natural progression of that development was? Steve/T'Challa walk up to the border and say "LOL you're too late we've destroyed the Mind Stone" and the aliens saying "oh noes! I guess we'll just go home to our angry boss"? They've come to Earth pumped full of alien adrenaline and if they're anything like human warfare, they are going to burn things to the ground if they don't get what they want. So yes...what I'm saying is that even if Shuri successfully separated the Mind Stone from Vision and Wanda destroyed it, saving Vision's life (even assuming Thanos didn't have the Time Stone), the battle would have still happened because those two alien leaders were not going to just let puny humans brush them off. Earth was going to have a war regardless, and it is an act of amazing courage and charity that T'Challa offered for Wakanda to take on this task.
Now imagine the scenario of Steve choosing to sacrifice Vision for the Mind Stone. Pre-battle psychology (edit: morale, morale is the word I’m looking for) is such a huge topic that people have written books on it for thousands of years. Steve and T'Challa have effectively told Wakandans that they are willing to sacrifice someone who has been a close companion for years. If the aliens actually came and said, "Oh noes, I guess we just go back and face the wrath of Thanos by ourselves", then well and good. If the aliens said, "No fuck this, we're going to raze Wakanda to the ground cos at least I can tell my boss I did everything I could and anyway they're probably lying."
What do you think Vision's death would have done to Wakandans/other Avengers (especially Wanda) psychologically? We're not a team, our leader doesn't care about us as individuals, they're willing to throw us out as a martyr "for the greater good" (and they're sacrificing all of Wakanda for Earth), all of this is futile, we've done something awful and it hadn't paid off, we deserve what's coming and now we're all going to die. But trying to save Vision? Friends and comrades are important, we're all the same team, if we stick together we can win, we'll follow each other's lead, there is something good and pure to protect -- as idealistic as these beliefs are, it's what keeps soldiers together and willing to fight, and sometimes that's what it takes. Steve has read the Art of War after all.
Anyway, I think it's a tough ethical choice and I'm certainly not saying my view is correct, because I don't think there is a correct view in something this complex. I just hope to hell none of us ever have to be the one making that decision.
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